


28 days.

by heartbreak_conga



Category: The Beatles (Band)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-04-29
Packaged: 2019-10-29 10:52:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17806652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartbreak_conga/pseuds/heartbreak_conga
Summary: Paul is 23 and already feels like he peaked and is slowly crashing. After he ruined his brother wedding day he's sent to a 28 day stay at a rehab. Paul thinks he's fine and doesn't need any of this. He meets 25 year old John Lennon who has a sweet tooth and never talks about himself in group therapy. He some how makes Paul feel at ease. Sometimes.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is based off the movie 28 days! Not taking credit for the idea but thought it would make a cute mclennon story so here we go! Set in 1965
> 
> ((TRIGGER WARNING))

Day 1 

Paul got out of the taxi in front of the giant building. He groaned and grabbed his bags from the back seat. He hated this. He didn't need this. Mike was just being over dramatic. Okay, so maybe he drove a car into the reception center but that doesn't mean he has a problem. Mike is the one with the problem if you ask Paul. Sitting up on his high horse like he's better than everyone else. He doesn't need to be here. He doesn't. Paul groaned and walked right over to the pay phone outside of the front doors and called home to the apartment he shared with his boyfriend Pete. The second Pete picked up the phone Paul was already ranting, only pausing to take drags out of his cigarette. "This is fucking ridiculous. This is a place for crazy people! I don't even need to be here! Mike totally went over board when he was talking to the judge!" He ranted and sighed, looking around at all the people walking around the hospital grounds. He could hear Pete laughing on the other end of the line. 

"Oh calm down, Paulie! It's only for 28 days. Maybe you can get out early on good behavior like in prison or something. Then you can come right home and me and you will go down the block to the pub just like always. Tough it out for a little bit. Plus, i'll be there for visitation every week just like we planned out." Pete said, a little more slurred than a normal person would. Nobody could really tell if it was just how he talked or if Pete was mildly tipsy all the time. Either way, it was still his Pete. Paul sighed and stepped on his now unlit cigarette butt, chewing on his nails. Only 28 days. At this rate, Paul feels like he's going to be here for ever. "Listen love, I told the boys i'd meet them down at the pub but I will be there bright and early for visitation alright? Don't let any of the nurses find your stash of Vicodin. Love you! mwah!" Pete slurred into the phone, making sure to make a loud, obnoxious kiss noise before hanging up. Paul groaned and slammed the phone back down on the receiver before picking up his bags and finally walking in. The second he got through the door, all he could hear was strange chanting from a group of people holding hands. Paul didn't pay much attention but he could tell the chanting was all about healing and self love. Total and utter bullshit. 

Paul made his way over to the front desk and sighed. "Uh.. James Paul McCartney. I'm supposed to be checking in today." He said, putting his bags on the ground. The nurse at the desk just smiled and handed him a paper and pen. 

"Hello Mr. McCartney. Just sign on the marked lines and we'll have you go through intake and show you your room and everything." She said with a smile. Paul resisted rolling his eyes at her upbeat attitude. How can anyone be so happy while working here? Once he signed in all the right spots, another nurse came over and grabbed his bags. 

"Alright James, follow me. We gotta do a bag check and then we'll bring you up to your new room. Any sharp objects or substances that I should know about before hand?" She asked and dropped his suitcase on a table. 

"Paul is just fine. Nobody calls me James." Paul mumbled and shook his head, watching her go through his clothes and everything else he packed. "Uh.. nope..no sharps or any substances." He mumbled and bit his lip. Lie. Big fat lie. Before he left, Pete had slipped a full bottle of Vicodin in his bag. If he can't drink he should at least have a little chemical help to get through this hell hole of a stay. The nurse just looked over at Paul with this look. This look that she knew he was lying. She probably hears lies like that every single day. She just kept looking and eventually found the bottle, writing something down on Paul's intake sheet and putting the bottle in a locked drawer. "They're just for my back pain." Paul said and closed up his suitcase. The nurse just shook her head and smiled, grabbing her clipboard with what Paul is going to assume is all his intake information. 

"Alright Paul, follow me." She said and left the room, making her way up the stairs. Paul groaned and lugged his bags up the stairs and followed her down the hall. This is ridiculous. He does not need to be here. Everyone else here is a drug addict. He's not addicted to boos. He can stop if he wanted to. He just doesn't want to. Does that mean he has a problem? Absolutely not. 

Once they got halfway down the hallway, the nurse opened one of the doors and walked in. "John this is your new roommate Paul. Paul this is John. He's going to be your roommate while you're here. He's also going to show you around the facility and talk to you about the rules and everything else you need to know." She said. The boy on the bed just looked up from a notebook and smiled around the lollipop stick in his mouth. 

"Don't worry Astrid, i'll take good care of him." The man said and smiled at Paul from across the room. The nurse just smiled and left, shutting the door behind her. The whole room just had the faint smell of candy and cigarettes. A weird combination but he didn't mind. Paul just walked over to the empty bed and put his stuff down, looking around the room and taking in the new surroundings. Half of the room was littered with crumbled up notebook paper and candy wrappers. The ledge by the window had an empty soup can that was practically over flowing with cigarette butts. At least his roommate smoked. "Sorry about the mess. I've been trying to write a journal entry for group therapy today and nothing is coming out right. I'm usually never this messy. I promise." He said and chuckled before closing the notebook and turning to face Paul. "I'm John." He said and stuck his hand out with a smile. 

Paul quickly shook his hand and went back to unpacking all his belongings and sighed. "Paul." He said and just started putting his clothes away in the empty night stand by his bed. Before he could say anything else, the other man was already up off the bed and picking up all the trash from the floor. 

"So my job is to take you around, show you where everything is and what not. Lunch is in an hour so we can go do that now we can just go to lunch after the tour." He said and sat back down on his own bed. Paul just nodded a little and shut the drawer. "So what's the deal with this place? What's with the chanting and all that bullshit I saw downstairs?" Paul asked and raised an eyebrow. "This place isn't like a cult or anything right?" John just chuckled and shook his head, taking the half eaten lollipop out of his mouth. 

"Nope. Not a cult. That stuff just makes people feel better about recovery." John said and got up. "C'mon i'll show you around." He said and made sure Paul was following before leaving the room. "All the phones on the wall are emergency only. Like if someone ends up getting something and they overdose or something. Or if someone ends up offing themselves. If you gotta make personal phone calls we have some down by the front desk but they listen to all the calls so I refuse to use them." He said and shrugged, turning down another hallway. Paul just followed along and actually listened to what he was saying. It's not like he cared or anything but something about this mans voice was calming. Soothing. It almost helped take some of the shock of where he was away. "Down this hall are all the therapy rooms. Usually each floor sticks together for therapy though. Like everyone in our hallway has therapy together and the floor above us has therapy together and what not." John said and shrugged. "We have group once a day. Every two weeks we have family day so a family member of your choosing will come in and you guys get to talk about recovery and what not." He said and looked over at Paul with a strange smile. "So what are you in for? You kind of have that pretty coke boy look to you. My guess is some type of speed." 

Paul just stared at John for what seemed like ages. Is that really how people here talked? Did he really look like he did speed? "Uh...I just like to drink I guess.." He mumbled and looked at his feet as they went downstairs. John only shrugged and nudged his shoulder. 

"You don't gotta feel all weird about it. We're all here for something. No point trying to hide it. Anyways here is the shop. You can buy fags or candy or gum. They usually run out of fags really quick though." The rest of the tour went by in a flash. Paul didn't really retain all that much information even though he just listened to John talk on and on. By the time he snapped back to what was going on they were already in the cafeteria. John grabbed Paul's arm and pulled him over to a table. "Guys this is Paul. Paul this is everyone." He said and smiled, sitting in one of the empty seats. Paul just gave a fake small smile and sat down next to John. In some strange way he felt like he was in school again. Except now he's the new kid who doesn't know anyone. It was a weird feeling. 

"Johnny, why the hell are you always on newbie duty?" One of the guys at the table said before shaking his head. "Anyways, I'm Stu. Heroin junkie." He said and went back to eating. Before Paul could even register that this person thought it was a good idea to introduce himself that way, everyone at the table was going around in turns and doing the same. 

"I'm George. Speed." 

"Ringo. Prescription pills." 

Paul just stared at them all for a second before looking down at his lap. He shouldn't be here. These people have real issues. They're actually fucked up in the head. He isn't addicted. He isn't like these people. He could stop if he wanted to. "So what about you?" Stuart said and chuckled. "You're too cute to be a heroin addict that's for sure. Your hands still look normal so that rules that out." He said and kept intensely staring at Paul. It was weird. Everyone at the table was suddenly staring and trying to pick him apart one by one. 

"I..I guess I like to drink." Paul mumbled and shrugged, biting his nails. To be fair, Paul usually loves being the center of attention. He is always a people person and makes friends no matter where he goes. This was different. These people were picking him apart and silently judging him. He could feel it. 

"Oh shut up guys. Leave the poor lad alone." John said and tossed some candy wrappers from his pocket across the table to hit each of them in the head. He giggled and made a face. "Don't mind them. It's just what we do with the newbies. Helps pass time." John said and nudged Paul a little. Great. 

The rest of the day went by in a blur. Once it was time for lights out, John sat on the windowsill, hugging his knees and smoking out the window. "I'm sorry about earlier. With the guys. They can be a lot to take in at once. They're all really nice though. George helped me a lot when I first got here. Well..the first time I got here." John shrugged and took a drag. "This is my second time back. George's third." He said and tugged at the sleeves of his jumper a little. Paul just stayed quiet. He had questions but he didn't want to over step. Didn't matter much anyways. John just kept talking and answered most of them anyways. "I know what you're thinking" He said and chuckled. "Me and George just slipped up and got thrown back in. The first time I came in, George had already been here for a month and he was my first roommate. Helped me through the withdrawals and everything. I owe him a lot. Before you came in Ringo was the newbie. He's been here 3 weeks as of yesterday. Stu's almost done. He has 1 week left before he's released. Between you and me..I don't think he's gonna make it. I give him 2 weeks before he's thrown back in here with us." John said and sighed. "I can tell you're one of the people who thinks the don't have a problem. That's okay. Most people are like that. I'm just letting you know, this whole thing will go by much quicker if you admit to yourself you're addicted. It helps." He said and flashed Paul a soft smile. That smile. He had been giving Paul that smile all day and each time it sent a strange wave of calmness through Paul's body. It made him feel less tense. It helped. John hopped off the windowsill and climbed into his own bed, shutting off the lamp on his nightstand. "Goodnight." He said and yawned, pulling the covers over his head and facing the wall. 

"Goodnight.." Paul mumbled and shut his own lamp off, sliding into his blankets and closing his eyes. He can't fall asleep. He feels sick. He needs his Vicodin that the stupid fucking nurse threw away. After a few hours of tossing and turning, Paul got up and ran to the bathroom, throwing up what little food he had in his stomach. He held onto the toilet and groaned. His head was spinning and he was starting to sweat. This was the single worst feeling ever. It was like a hangover times ten. 

_Paul giggled and danced around the living room with his mother and little brother. She had put on some new jazz music on the radio. Paul loved his mum. She was he coolest. Mary laughed and stumbled around the living room with her boys, trying not to spill the drink in her hand. "Oh my boys! I love my boys. You guys are always so much fun." She slurred and took another sip, falling back onto the couch with a laugh. Paul giggled and stood on the coffee table with Mike, holding his hands as they danced around. "Jamie go get mummy the big clear bottle off the counter in the kitchen." She said and stood up, wobbling around before steadying herself and placing a big fat kiss on Paul's cheek. Paul only nodded and got off the table, running to the kitchen to get the big clear bottle. Paul didn't know any other 6 year olds who were allowed to stay up past 11 on a school night. He felt so lucky._

_Paul ran back in with the bottle and went right over to where Mary was stumbling around and dancing with Mike. "'Ere you go mummy!" Paul said proudly and handed her the bottle. Mary smiled and took the bottle, pouring herself another drink and giving Paul another wet kiss right on his chubby little cheeks. He giggled and went right back to dancing with his brother and his mum. Paul loved night time because then mummy got fun and like she always said, "If you're not having fun, then whats the point?". No other kids got to stay up late and dance around like him and Mike did. They were so lucky to have such a cool mummy. They were so lucky._


	2. Chapter 2

Day 4 

Paul is finally starting to get into the rhythm of how this place runs. Kind of. He's starting to warm up to John's friends at least. John. Paul truly doesn't know how he would survive this without John. He is always there to help Paul if he got lost and he always shares his cigarettes. Not to mention the simple fact of being around John helped calm Paul down. It was weird but nice. He didn't have any pills to calm him down but John had this way about him that made him so easy to be around, despite the constant flow of candy wrappers on the floor and night stand. Paul still isn't sure why John is in this place. He won't ask either. If John wants him to know, he'll tell him. As of right now, their group was finishing up group therapy. For someone who likes to talk, John never says much of anything in group. Makes sense though. John is one of the few people who has one on one therapy. Every other day at 3 for an hour. Again, he doesn't want to pry, but it was always that hour when Paul took a nap. It is the only time when he's completely alone and he hates feeling alone. "Alright guys, group is finished for today! Make sure to write in your journals and don't forget family day is in 2 days!" The nurse said and smiled as people left the room. Paul did in fact start keeping a journal. Mostly because it was required, but it helped him cope with being in here. Paul grabbed his notebook and walked out with John and sighed. "My brother is coming to family day." He said and groaned. John raised an eyebrow and chuckled. 

"Isn't that a good thing?" He asked and nudged Paul's shoulder with his own. It should be a good thing. It should. Mike is his baby brother, yet has always played the part as the big brother. Always. Mike has his life together. He's married and has a house with his wife. They're even planning on having kids soon. Not Paul though. Paul lives in a studio apartment above a pub with his boyfriend. Mike even calls once a week just to check in and ask Paul if he needs any money. How pathetic. That should be his job, checking in on his baby brother to make sure he's fine. That should be his job. 

"He's kind of mad at me about what happened at the wedding.." Paul mumbled and sighed, he was looking at his feet but could tell the second John started sucking on a lollipop. The sound of the hard candy against his teeth was always a dead give away as to where John was in a room. "I showed up late and drunk. Stumbled my way through the whole thing then crashed my car into the side of the reception hall." He mumbled and shrugged. Paul looked up at John who was now frowning around the lollipop stick in his mouth. 

"Well...maybe the therapy session will help you guys heal and shit." He said and smiled at Paul as they walked down to the cafeteria for lunch. Once they got to their table Paul sat right next to John like he did everyday and started picking at the food on his tray. 

"So what about you? Got anyone coming for family day?" Paul asked and turned to John who just shrugged and shook his head. 

"Nah my aunt can't make it. She's coming to visitation though. And i'm gonna show her how much better i'm doing in here. I'm gonna show her that this time is different. I just want her to be proud of me, y'know?" John said and set his lollipop down before stuffing his face with pasta. Paul smiled and nodded. Everyone at the table continued their own conversations until a nurse came over and tapped John on the shoulder. 

"C'mon John. Weekly check up." She said with her obnoxious smile. John nodded and got up, tugging his sleeves down before smiling at the rest of the table. He cleared his throat and took a bow before following the nurse. Weekly check up? Another reason why Paul thought John was kind of strange. He gets extra check ups and therapy. Is Paul going to ask? No. It's not his place. He simply will not ask. 

Day 6 

The day has finally come. Family day. Mike was gonna be here and him and Paul are finally gonna have to talk. Paul woke up so nervous he felt like he was going to throw up. It was okay though. John was there to walk him though it and reassure him that it was okay and that it was just the nerves. Once therapy time came around Paul was sat in the middle of group, facing his little brother who looked less than thrilled to be there. 

"Alright now, Mike why don't we start with how your brothers illness makes you feel?" The nurse said and Mike just rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest. 

"How it makes me feel? It makes me feel like...like he doesn't care about anyone but himself. It's true though. Paul doesn't care about anyone but Paul. Never has and never will." Mike said and just stared at Paul the whole time. God, he looked so...disappointed. It made Paul feel like shit. He loves Mike. He really does and he wants nothing but the best for him. The last thing he wants is for Mike to be disappointed. 

"Mike I want you to think about one time where you think Paul's illness impacted your life in a negative way." The nurse said and wrote some things down on her clip board. Mike just kept staring at Paul with that same mad/disappointed look. 

"He ruined my wedding. He showed up 20 minutes late and drunk. He stumbled his way through the whole ceremony. He gets up at the reception and makes a god damn speech that nobody can even understand. It was all mumbles and slurring and his fucking boyfriend, who was just as hammered clapped and cheered him on. He said something about forgetting my wedding gift at home and next thing I know, he backed his car into the fucking building and almost hit my wife." Mike said and glared. Less disappointed now. He just looked mad. Paul frowned and sunk into his chair. "Or how about the time on my 18th birthday when he took me out to celebrate! We were supposed to have a nice brotherly bonding night but instead he gets drunk, leaves me at some random pub and takes off with his boyfriend and a group of random people for a week straight! Do you even understand how fucking worried I was?! I thought I was going to get a phone call that they found you dead in a ditch somewhere Paul! But do you care!? No! Because all you care about is your fucking self!" Mike snapped and Paul winced in his chair. Another prime example of how Mike always took on the roll of being the big brother. Everyone else in the group got quiet, including the nurse. Mike just rubbed his face and sighed. "Jesus Paul, you make it impossible to love you.." He mumbled and stood up. "I don't need this. I have a fucking life." And with that, Mike was gone and Paul was frozen in his chair, fighting back tears. This was it. This was the big realization moment. He had a problem. He was addicted and it was affecting his brother's life. Before the nurse could even say anything, Paul stood up and ran out of the room. He can't cry in front of everyone. How pathetic. He ran down the hall to his room even though he could hear the footsteps following him the whole way there. He knew it was John. Who else would it be? 

Paul opened their bedroom door and locked himself in their bathroom, sitting on the floor and crying into his knees. He ruined the best day of his brother's life and so many more. He's an addict. He does belong here. Paul hiccuped and just sobbed into his knees, ignoring the knocking on the door and John's pleading for him to open up. Within minutes, John had managed to pick the lock and swung the door open. The older man quickly got on the floor with Paul and wrapped him in a tight hug. John frowned and wiped some of Paul's tears away with his sleeve, pushing some hair off his forehead. "Shhh shhh it's okay..it's alright.." John whispered into Paul's ear and just let him cry. He needed it. John of all people know's how much it hurts to have a family member do something like that. He understands but for now, he's just going to let Paul cry. 

Day 7 

Yesterday was awful to say the least. It was a giant wake up call to Paul. The only good thing that came out of it was the fact Paul can finally admit he's an alcoholic. John was a life saver. As usual. He stayed right by Paul's side the rest of the day while he cried just so he wouldn't be alone. Paul thinks deep down John knows he can't be alone. Paul has found he can't sit still when he's alone and it's only getting worse the longer he goes without boos. John knows so much about Paul already, yet Paul knows so little about John. John Lennon, the man who never talks about himself in group therapy. The man who only talks about how much he loves his aunt in group therapy. John was a good friend either way so Paul didn't mind that John didn't talk about himself as much. 

Paul's first visitation is in 2 days. Pete is coming by for a while before he has work. Mike refuses to come and nobody else in his life cares enough to come by. John is really excited though. For the past few days he has just kept saying how excited he is to see his aunt Mimi and how proud she's going to be when she sees how much better he's doing and everything. Paul likes how John looked when he got happy like that. His eyes scrunched up in the best way and his smile was so big. John had told Paul that his aunt and uncle raised him since he was a toddler. Never said why or where his parents were but Paul didn't pry. He doesn't pry. John loved his aunt and his uncle. Apparently, his uncle George died about ten years back so it was really just Mimi in John's life now. John always said the same thing in every group session. "I just want to make her proud." 

At lunch, Paul sat in between George and John, trying to finish his book while picking at the bread on his tray. The whole table continued their conversations. Paul kept his face buried in the book as John scooted closer, making their knees touch. Paul looked up and John only smiled back before continuing his conversation with Stu. Paul simply smiled back and went back to reading. He liked being close to John. It brought a level of comfort and peace to Paul. Different than Pete or anyone else in his life but still good. Still good. 

Day 8 

Today is the day. Visitation day is finally here. Every single person on their floor had gotten up bright and early so they could shower and get ready. Pete had written a letter to Paul a few days ago, saying he was going to be there early so he could get to work on time. Paul didn't mind. Of course he didn't mind. He was so happy Pete was even coming, he couldn't care less about the time. John said something about Mimi not writing him back or calling this week. She must be busy but he knew she was still coming. Before Paul had left the room to go downstairs and meet Pete, John grabbed his arm and smiled. "I'll see you later. Tell your boyfriend I said hi." Paul just smiled and nodded. He rushed down the stairs and instantly ran over to Pete, jumping into his arms and giggling. 

"Oh my god! You're here! I missed you so so so much!" Paul said and prepped Pete's face all over with little kisses. He did really miss Pete. Pete was one of the first people in Paul's life -who isn't a relative- that told Paul he loved him. Besides Mike, the last person to say I love you to Paul was his mother and that was the day she died. I love you isn't exactly a phrase Paul likes to throw around. It was a big deal for him. Love was special. Pete was special and he did love Pete. They had fun. If you're not having fun then what's the point? 

Pete smiled and held Paul up, giving him a big kiss on the lips, almost falling over. "Hello there love. I missed you too!" He said with a small slur. Paul frowned and pulled back, wiping his lips. Vodka. Pete smelled as if he dumped a whole bottle over his head. Made sense. Vodka was always Pete's drink of choice. 

"God, are you fucking drunk?" Paul asked and took a step back. Of course he was. Now that he was finally sober and level headed Paul could finally realize that Pete is always drunk. Well, so was Paul until a week ago. 

"Just had a little stop by the pub on the way here to grab a few drinks." Pete slurred and shrugged at Paul. It was a twisted and unnatural smile. A smile that had no real rhyme or reason behind it. It wasn't like John's smile. John's smile always made Paul feel warm and safe. Pete. Fucking Pete. Paul truly does not know why he thought Pete would be sober. Can he blame him? No. If Paul wasn't in here he would be right there with him. "C'mon love i'm fine! Let's go for a walk! There seems to be loads of trails and shit so why don't you show me around?" Pete said and kissed Paul's hand with that same smile. Paul just sighed and nodded, holding onto Pete's hand tightly. As they made their way out of the building, the two of them walked past Paul's new friends and all the people they have told him so much about. George and his fiance Pattie were walking around and holding hands. Ringo and his wife Maureen were on a couch in the living room with his new baby boy, Zak. Then there was John. John who was sat alone on a couch by the window,all curled up and looking out at the street. Waiting for his aunt. She'll be here though. John's been talking about it all week and how proud she's gonna be that he's doing better. She's going to be so proud. 

Once they were out of the building and in the fresh air, Paul felt a weight lift off his shoulders. He was no longer breathing in stuffy air and he had the room to just breathe. Plus, he had Pete. Maybe they haven't been on the best terms as of late but he still loved Pete. He thinks. Paul was starting to realize that Pete will still be a drunken mess when Paul gets out. Pete will still be going out to the pub when Paul has to stay home to stay sober. Does he expect Pete to change his whole life just because Paul's a fuck up? No. Can Paul handle being around that while he's trying to stay sober? Maybe. 

Pete smiled and dragged Paul down on of the little paths in the woods, holding onto his hand tightly. "C'mon love I got a surprise for you!" Paul just smiled and followed Pete down to the small pond on the rehab property. To be honest Paul didn't realize how big the place actually was and how much freedom the patients actually had. Good to know. Maybe him and John could go for a walk sometimes. John seems like a good person to take a walk through the woods with. Pete smiled and spun Paul around before dropping down to one knee and pulling out a small black box. Oh no. Pete opened it and smiled, holding Paul's hand tightly. "What do ya say love?" He asked, slurring a little less than before. No no no no. Paul frowned and just stared down at him, confused. 

"Are you proposing to me...in rehab..while you're drunk..?" Paul asked slowly and the frown never left his face. Pete just shrugged and nodded with that same fucking smile. 

"No. I happen to be proposing. You just happen to be here." Pete said and gave his hand a kiss. "I was trying to be romantic. Plus, it would make a good story for the pub." He said with a smirk. 

"Well I don't want anymore stories Pete. I have enough stories. I'd like a life and I can't have that with you still being a drunken mess while i try and stay sober.." Paul said and frowned, taking his hand back. "I...I think I gotta go.." Paul said and with that, he left. Paul wrapped his arms around himself and made his way back to the building. This was it. Pete wasn't the person for him. Deep down Paul always knew him and Pete wouldn't work out. Both drunken messes with no responsibilities. Paul walked back in and everyone was starting to say their goodbyes. Ringo was giving his son a final kiss and hug, George was giving Pattie a final kiss, John was no where to be seen. Probably out on a walk with his aunt. Paul sighed and made his way upstairs to his room. Pete proposed to him, fucked up, while Paul was in fucking rehab. Fucking Pete. 

Paul made his way into their room and heard the water running in the bathroom. Maybe his aunt already left. "Johnny, you'll never guess what happened to me today." Paul said and looked towards the door. It was open just a crack so maybe John was just washing his face or brushing his teeth. "You hear me?" He asked and made his way over, pushing the door open. The second the door opened, the sight Paul saw made his heart sink and his breathing stop. The mirror was broken and in shattered pieces on the floor. The sink and shower were both running and then their was John. John was curled up in the corner by the shower, in his boxers with a piece of broken glass in his hand and one gash going across his thigh. His face was soaked with tears and his head was hidden in his own shoulder. The sight was horrific. John's thighs had scattered old purple and white scars all over and his arms were worse. It was the first time Paul actually ever saw John's arms and now he knows why he always wore long sleeves. His arms were littered with small scars here and there but mostly track marks and burn scars anywhere a vein was visible. Now, Paul finally knows why John was here. 

Paul snapped back to what was happening and rushed onto the floor right by John's side. "O-Okay, it's okay." He whispered, carefully taking the glass and tossing it away. John gave up no fight, just looked up at Paul with puffy red eyes and hiccuped. 

"S-She didn't come.. I-I-I waited all day for her and she never showed up.. I-I was doing better.." John mumbled through the tears. The whole situation made Paul's stomach churn. Paul grabbed a hand towel from the sink and held it against John's thigh, making sure to put pressure on it. 

"O-okay.. John put pressure on that i'm going to get help okay? Just stay right here and i'll be right back." He said and sniffled. Paul didn't even notice he was crying until he saw tears that were not John's landing on his legs. Suddenly, John grabbed onto Paul's arm and shook his head. 

"No no no you can't tell anyone! T-They'll send me to psych and I-I won't get to stay here anymore! I-I can't get kicked out again. Please don't tell anyone. Please please don't." He pleaded and the tears started to stream down his face again. Paul just frowned and nodded, keeping the towel pressed against John's thigh. 

"Alright, okay shhh shh.." Paul cooed and pulled John in for a hug. John just held onto Paul tightly and cried into his chest. Paul won't tell. Right now he just has to take care of John. "Shh shh you're okay..let's get you to bed yeah?" Paul said softly and helped John to his feet and over to his bed. "Keep holding that against your leg okay? I'm going to clean up the glass then i'm gonna help you clean that, alright?" He said and John just nodded. Paul frowned and rushed to the bathroom, sweeping up all the broken glass and turning the running water off. He grabbed another towel and carefully cleaned up the small amount of blood on the linoleum floors. By the time he got back into the room, John was already in the process of cleaning his own leg with a lollipop in his mouth. Paul sighed and walked over, carefully taking the hydrogen peroxide and cleaning it for him. 

"I wasn't trying to like...off myself or anything. It just...helps when I get really sad or whatever.. " John mumbled around the candy in his mouth. Paul just nodded and kept cleaning his leg before wrapping it up in some gauze. John slid into some sweat pants and pulled a jumper on, tugging the sleeves down hard. "Heroin addict..pretty bad. The first time I came in the doctors said they were surprised I was still breathing, let alone walking around.. I've been clean for like a few months now. Well, clean from heroin. I did coke when I got out so I got sent back here." He mumbled and looked at Paul. "M'sorry.." 

Paul frowned and shook his head, sitting on his bed and pulling him into another hug. "Don't be sorry..don't ever be sorry. It's okay." He said and sighed. John just nodded and leaned into Paul more, playing with a loose string on Paul's jumper. 

"So what were you gonna tell me?" John asked and looked up at Paul. His face was less splotchy and his eyes were less swollen but his eyes, wow. His eyes were slightly bloodshot and a little wet but it only made his light brown eyes sparkle more so than normal. 

"I got proposed to and broke up with my lowlife boyfriend." Paul said and chuckled. He went into the whole story about the whole event. It was nice. Even after that story Paul just went into more and more stories to tell John. They helped pass the time but more importantly, helped bring the attention away from the one thing John didn't want to talk about. Plus, John liked listening to Paul's stories. He had a calming voice. John would pay just to listen to Paul talk for hours and hours. 

John would never dare to say, but he was secretly glad Paul broke up with his boyfriend. He liked Paul. Paul was pretty but tragically lost in life. John thought Paul was good looking from the moment he saw him. Either way, the stories helped. Paul helped. Paul made him feel like everything was okay, and it was. Everything is okay.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKay I know this is really short but I just wanted to get this chapter out so i am sorry in advanced

Day 12 

It has been exactly four days since visitation. Four days since Pete proposed and got dumped. Four days since Paul found John. Only four days but it felt like a lifetime away. The whole situation somehow made Paul feel a little bit better about everything. Dumping Pete gave him more freedom and he didn't have to worry about what they were going to be like when hes out of this place in a few months. The whole John thing somehow brought the two of them closer together. That night, John was so open and vulnerable but never pushed Paul away. Not once. That was new for him. Nobody was allowed to see his legs and let alone his arms. After the whole thing happened the way Paul talked to and treated John never changed. He didn't suddenly talk down to him or make him feel like less of a human. It was a bad habit most people in John's life had. People always end up treating him like a child or like he's nothing more than dirt. Not Mimi though. She's just... disappointed. She always said John was made to go on and do great things and be an extraordinary person. Mimi always had high hoped for what John would grow up to be, hoping and praying that he would be better than his neglectful parents. Maybe he would be a writer, or a famous artist or musician like he always hoped and dreamed. Instead, he just ended up addicted to the same thing that inevitably killed his mother. John Lennon was 17 the first time he tried something with a little more kick than weed. The day after Julia's funeral, John disappeared for five days. Mimi thought he was staying at a friends house when in reality, he was sleeping on the streets of Blackpool on benches on a five day long bender. On the third day, a stranger in a pub offered John some powdered heroin on the back of his hand and the rest is history. By 19, he was admitted into the first rehab center. Promised Mimi he would be better and never touch drugs again. He promised. 28 days and a hell of a withdrawal later, John was released and he was in fact sober. Sadly, it only lasted 3 days out in the real world again before Mimi got a call at 3 o'clock in the morning from the local hospital saying John had overdosed and had to be resuscitated. Here came the promises again that it was a one time thing, he just wanted one more high before he kicked it for good and that it would never ever happen again. It was a sick and twisted cycle of John's empty promises. This boy who lived in her house and slept in John's bed was no longer John. This boy was just an empty shell of a person. Someone who looks sickly and steals money from her purse to go out and score whatever he can get his hands on. But here we are, 6 years, 3 overdoses and a million broken promises later. John is determined this time. He doesn't want to live like this anymore and he definitely does not want to put Mimi through this any longer. He can't do that to her. He won't. Not anymore. This time is different. 

John walked into his and Paul's shared room and smiled. "Paul love, want to come for a walk with me? The sun is finally out and I've been itching to go on a walk or something." He said while walking over to his bed, grabbing a handful of candies from the clear bag on his pillow. "I'll even give you a blue Jolly Rancher if you say yes." He said and waved one in front of Paul's face. Paul just smiled and grabbed the candy, unwrapping it and popping it in his mouth. 

"I would have said yes anyways. Let's go." Paul said and got up, walking down the stairs and out the front door with John. It was nice. The past few days him and John try to go for a walk at least once a day but yesterday was too cloudy and cold to go out and do anything. John smiled and laced his fingers in with Paul's. The younger man just smiled and held onto his hand tightly. "So I heard you talking to your aunt last night..good things I hope, yeah?" Paul asked and looked over at John with a hopeful smile. He knew John loved his aunt. She meant the world to him and he did not want to see them go through the same thing he and Mike went through when he came last time. 

John smiled and nodded, squeezing Paul's hand as they walked through the small trail going though the woods on the property. "Yeah! She said she was real sorry about not coming to visitation. She said she was scared to see if I had gotten worse or whatever. But the doctors called and promised her I was doing a lot better. She said she's coming next week and guess what Paulie! She even said she was PROUD of how much progress I've made! Isn't that amazing?!" John said and Paul just smiled. He looked so genuinely happy and hopeful. John mostly always looked happy but this was different. It wasn't a 'I want to make other people feel good so I act happy and funny all the time' kind of smile. It was a real John Lennon smile and Paul really thought it was the most beautiful thing in the entire world. "Have you heard anything from your brother at all?" He asked and handed Paul another piece of candy. "I really do think what happened with you guys will blow over eventually and he's gonna get over it and you two can work things out." Paul just nodded a little and popped the bright green hard candy into his mouth with his free hand. 

"Yeah I guess so. I really fucked up though. I wouldn't be surprised if he never forgave me and I don't blame him." Paul said and shrugged. Mike was a touchy subject and Paul will do anything to change the topic and move the attention away from him. That is a new trait Paul has picked up since being here. Well, since being sober is probably better to say. When you're an raging alcoholic and life of the party for so long it gets old. Eventually you just want everyone to pay attention to literally anything else. Paul had his time in the spot light. Not it just makes him anxious and uncomfortable. It's strange but not bad. Paul just let John ramble on and on about whatever he wanted to talk to. It was nice just to be with John. Just to be around him was a calming experience even though John can be the loudest person in the world at times, it's still nice. It's nice to just walk with him and hold his hand. It's nice to listen to his voice. Paul has been to a lot of parties in his time and he has met even more people. Most he remembers and some he doesn't but nobody has ever been as special as John Lennon. Nobody will ever come close either. There will never be another John Lennon as far as Paul McCartney is concerned. 

_John groaned and stumbled down the stairs and into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes. Mimi looked up and gave him a small smile. "Happy 18th birthday John." She said and got up, giving him a kiss on the cheek. "I was going to make you some tea but I didn't know when you'd be up." She said, glancing at the clock on the wall. Half past 5 p.m. John just walked past her and to the fridge. "Mimi I need to borrow some money again." He said before stuffing his face with the left over chicken from last night. Mimi frowned and sighed. "J-John you know I-I can't give you anymore money..Dc. Richards said that when I give you money I am doing nothing but feeding the fire. Remember?" She said softly. John frowned and shut the fridge door a little harder than expected. "God Mimi I just need a few pounds! You know I'll get sick! Do you want that to happen!? God you don't fucking care!" John snapped and grabbed his jacket. Mimi jumped slightly. The doctor had said that John's temper was nothing more than a side effect from all the drug use. He told her not to take any of it to heart and she didn't. But that didn't mean it hurt any less to hear. "Jesus Mimi I just need some fucking money and you can't even do that!" John yelled and grabbed his backpack, storming out the front door. He scratched at the healing tract marks on his arm and headed into the city. He shoved his shaking hands into his pockets and turned down a familiar alley way, walking right up to the same sleazy junkie who basically lived back here. "Hey man, I-I don't have the cash right now b-but I'll give you a blowjob for a few bumps." John mumbled and bit his lip. It's the one good thing about junkies. Some will trade drugs for a quickie and they don't care what you look like. John knew he looked sick. He knew how bad he looked but it was worth it for the feeling of a good high. The two of them wandered off into the bathroom of the club next door and 10 minutes later, John was alone and sitting on the floor of a stall, dumping the small amount of brown powder onto the same dirty spoon he had used the night before and started to heat the bottom. It was worth it. All of it. The dirty after taste in his mouth, the occasional bruising on his face when his suitors ended up getting too rough, the sickly skinny and pale person he has become were always worth it. Always worth the way his body turned into radio static and the way the hot dope felt going right into his veins. John set the spoon down on the toilet seat and rolled his sleeve up. This is the difficult part. Trying to find a vein that still works and hasn't collapsed from repetitive use yet. As of late he hasn't been able to find any good ones in his arm but it doesn't hurt to try. After a few minutes of trying, John gave up and tugged his pants down. Maybe he'll have better luck in his thigh. His eyes scanned over all the fresh and old scars on his upper legs, no veins in sight. Fingers it is then. John pulled his pants back up and filled up the syringe before sticking the needle into the vein that ran through his middle finger. It was worth it. It was always worth it._


End file.
